Us Against the World
by effyrodriguez
Summary: Modern AU "I was planning on inviting you to my wedding." Tom says as he looks over at Thomas who's suddenly taken a fascination with Matthew's hair. Thomas reaches over to move some stray hairs away from Matthew's eyes. "What?" Matthew motions for Thomas to stop. "I'm engaged to be married."
1. Chapter 1

December 12, 2011

"Mind if I sit?" Matthew says seeing that this is the only seat available.

"May I ask who's asking?" the lad gives him a small smile.

"Matthew." Matthew just stands there sheepishly.

The lad holds out his hand and Matthew gladly accepts the formal greeting. "Nice to meet you Matthew I'm Thomas." Thomas firmly shakes Matthew's hand.

so can I…

"Of course sit down." Thomas motions to the chair. "cigarette" he hands it out to Matthew.

"No thanks I don't smoke." Thomas gives Matthew a weird look but Matthew just shrugs his shoulders.

"That's too bad." Thomas mutters under his breath.

"Excuse me!" Matthew looks at Thomas but Thomas just shrugs his shoulders.

Thomas lights a cigarette and as he exhales the smoke envelops him. "Obviously you came over here to convince me that you're worth sleeping with but now I'm not so keen on the idea."

wait just because…

"What do you do?" Thomas tries to change the subject.

"I'm a writer." Matthew replies.

"Never slept with a writer before." Thomas says smugly.

"I'm not here for a good fuck I just wanted to get to know you." Matthew slams his hands on the table.

"Well sorry to disappoint you but there's not much to know about." Thomas looks down at his shoes trying to look anywhere but at Matthew.

"I beg to differ, why do you like sitting by the window?" Matthew shifts his eyes over to the window.

"It makes me feel more connected to society." Thomas looks back up at Matthew.

"Why don't you just talk to someone on the inside?" Matthew overlooks the crowd of people waiting in line.

"Truthfully I hate rejection and at least I know the people on the outside won't mind if I watch them." Thomas casts his eyes over to a little boy struggling to keep control of his dog.

"I think they would if they knew." Matthew starts laughing but stops himself seeing that Thomas is not laughing.

"So what are you writing about?" Thomas says knowing that he much rather discuss someone else's life rather than his own.

"Not sure yet." Matthew reaches out for a napkin but accidentally touches Thomas's hand and Thomas pulls back.

"Well I best be going then." Thomas puts out the cigarette.

"Wait where are you going?" Matthew frowns.

"Home." Thomas starts making his way towards the door.

"Why?" Matthew says trying to figure Thomas out.

"Well I finished my drink had a nice short chat with a fine fellow so I thought I call it quits for the night." Thomas inches his way toward the handle but Matthew refuses to let Thomas leave.

"Well can I see you tomorrow?" Matthew says hopefully.

"Only if you're paying." Thomas finally exits the coffee shop.

December 13, 2011

"What is it?" Thomas asks while inspecting the drink.

"Just try it and see." Matthew rolls his eyes.

"I hope you're not trying to poison me." Thomas takes a sip.

"Well how is it?" Matthew asks eagerly.

"It's very minty." Thomas replies.

"But do you like it?" Matthew has his fingers crossed under the table.

"I suppose it's not that bad." Thomas admits.

Just then Tom walks in. "Oh god!" Matthew looks away.

"What is it?" Thomas seems surprised by Matthew's change in behavior.

"My ex is here." Matthew looks around for an escape and regrets sitting near the door.

"Isn't this a small world." Thomas smiles to himself and Matthew just rolls his eyes.

"Well if it isn't Matthew." Tom makes his way over to the table.

"You look fine as ever Tom." Matthew silently prays Thomas won't do anything stupid.

Thomas spits out his drink and it manages to get most of Matthew's shirt wet.

"Oh who's this?" Tom casts his eyes over to Thomas.

"I'm Steven his boyfriend." Thomas replies while Matthew looks just as surprised as Tom.

"Nice to meet you Steven." Tom holds out his hand but Thomas refuses to shake his hand.

"It's funny that I run into you I was just about to call you." Tom lowers his hand accepting defeat.

"Why's that?" Matthew says though already dreading the answer.

"I was planning on inviting you to my wedding." Tom looks over at Thomas who's suddenly taken a fascination with Matthew's hair as he reaches over to move some stray hairs away from Matthew's eyes.

"What"? Matthew motions for Thomas to stop.

"I'm engaged to be married." Tom stares at Matthew hoping he'll break.

"Congratulations Tom." Matthew says calmly though trying to hold back his anger and frustration.

"Thank you, well it was a pleasure to meet you again Matthew and you Steven." Tom glares at Thomas.

"I'm glad we met too , Matthew has said so much about you." Thomas says. Tom walks away and Matthew wishes the seat could swallow him whole.

"Why so glum chum, oh wait let me guess he said he'd never marry." Thomas says.

"Yes and I was a fool for believing him." Thomas grabs Matthew's hand to show him support but Matthew's lost in his own thoughts to even notice.

"Well he wasn't that good looking anyway you could do better than that." Thomas tries to let go of Matthew's hand but Matthew refuses to let go.

"Why'd you help me?" Matthew seems disturbed at the moment.

"I thought I'd repay you for buying me a drink." Thomas smiles and Matthew manages to smile back.

"I think it was more than that." Matthew says hoping Thomas would give him a true answer. Thomas gets up from his chair and starts putting his coat on. "Good day Matthew." He starts to leave but not before Matthew grabs his arm. "Can I call you?" Matthew knows this is his only chance. Thomas turns around and takes a pen from his pocket."Hold out your arm" Thomas looks at Matthew. Matthew does as he's told and Thomas writes his number across Matthew's arm. When he finishes he caps the pen and puts it back in his pocket. Thomas looks back up at Matthew and his eyes linger for a second too long and as Matthew starts to move his hand toward Thomas's face he turns away and Matthew manages to say thank you as Thomas walks out.

2 months later

"Hello?" Thomas yawns into the phone.

"Thomas it's me Matthew." Matthew pipes in on the other line.

"Oh never thought you'd call." Thomas looks at his nails.

"I never thought you'd answer." Matthew sinks into his chair scolding himself.

"So how's the writing coming along?" Thomas says.

"Not too good I'm afraid but I'm glad you brought the subject up so I didn't have to squeeze it out of you." Matthew says. "Why's that?" Thomas asks. "I was wondering if you would like to be in my story?" Matthew starts cursing at himself wondering if he sounded too desperate.

"How flattering Matthew but what exactly do you want me to do?" Thomas laughs at Matthew scolding himself.

"Are you free tonight?" Matthew asks.

"Well let's see." Thomas replies a little too fast.

"Don't pretend like you have a busy schedule." Matthew says.

"My how you've changed Matthew." Thomas says a little surprised.

"And you seemed to have stayed the same Thomas, I'll meet you at seven then." Matthew starts wondering what he should wear.

"Seven sounds lovely." Thomas hangs up the phone.

At Coffee shop

"So what's new?" Thomas looks Matthew over trying to see if there's been any change.

"I got a dog." Matthew replies happily.

"Oh really what's its name?" Thomas starts messing with the tablecloth.

"Lucky." Matthew clears his throat and Thomas puts his hands at his sides.

"Very common name don't you think." Thomas says.

"Why'd you say that?" Matthew seems a bit concerned.

"Well you're a writer" Thomas says.

and...

"So I thought you would name it after a famous author such as Hemingway." Thomas says.

"I may be a writer but I'm not going to let my dog suffer with such a name." Matthew replies.

"I guess it doesn't matter whether you're a writer or not cause we're all the same in the end." Thomas avoids making eyecontact.

"Why's that?" Matthew seems intrigued.

"We may look different but we're all made up of DNA." Thomas replies.

"See this is why you're such a good candidate." Matthew says.

"Why cause I'm not afraid to challenge other's ideas?" Thomas says knowing that he just answered his own question.

"Precisely and this is why I feel you would be a great deal of help." Matthew smiles hoping Thomas will accept his offer.

"I'll do it" Thomas says with a little uncertainty in his voice.

"Do what?" Matthew says though he knows what Thomas means.

"I'll assist you in your writing." Thomas says.

"Really?" Matthew leans forward in his chair.

"Do you want me to change my mind?" Thomas doesn't seem amused by Matthew who's pretending to fall off his chair.

"Of course not." Matthew straightens himself out.

Walk to Matthew's apartment

"So if I'm going to be helping you are you going to provide me with some necessary needs?" Thomas says.

"Such as" Matthew says.

"A place to stay." Thomas replies hopefully.

"I suppose so, do you need anything from where you've been staying now?" Matthew asks.

"No I got all that I need with me thank you." Thomas seems a bit annoyed by Matthew's question.

"And what's that?" Matthew scratches his head.

"The clothes that I'm wearing now and may I say that you ask a lot of questions." Thomas says bitterly.

"Is that bad?" Matthew says realizing the harsh tone in Thomas's voice.

"It can get annoying at times yes." Thomas starts walking a little faster and Matthew is struggling to catch up.

"Well I didn't think someone would mind especially since I'm offering a complete stranger a place to stay." Matthew says now with doubt in his voice wondering if this was such a good idea.

"I'd hardly think we're strangers more like long lost cousins." Thomas chuckles a little at his own joke.

"Oh you really do get on my nerves sometimes with your comments." Matthew admits.

"Well you better get used to it cause I've got plenty more…so is your place small?" Thomas says.

"Why do you assume it's small." Matthew says wondering if that should even really matter since it's just the two of them.

"Because you're a writer." Thomas says.

so...

"So you don't make a lot of money unless your book becomes a bestseller and even that won't last for long" Thomas says.

"Well it is small." Matthew admits.

"Will I be sleeping on the bed?" Thomas gives Matthew the puppy eyes.

"And where will I sleep?" Matthew pouts.

"On the couch, you do have a couch at least?" Thomas says.

"Yes I do and if I say yes to you sleeping on the bed will you stop making me feel terrible." Matthew insists.

"Yes. Why'd we stop?" Thomas looks at Matthew hoping this isn't what he thinks it is.

"Because we're here." Matthew replies.

"This is it?" Thomas says lamely.

"Yes now will you come inside." Matthew says with a bit of annoyance.

"You have a garden." Thomas laughs a bit.

"Yes now come on." Matthew drags Thomas into the apartment.

"There's a lot of stairs." Thomas exclaims.

"And here I thought I was the one who complains and asks stupid questions but I've been proven wrong." Matthew says though he regrets saying it.

"Ok I'll shut up then." Thomas raises his hands in defense.

"No, I'm sorry if I offended you." Matthew sighs in defeat knowing he can never stay mad at Thomas especially when he's in the wrong.

"I don't mind, I realize I do need to stop while I'm ahead I may say something that might ruin what we have." Thomas admits.

"And what do we have?" Matthew moves closer to Thomas.

"I'm not sure yet and that's what scares me usually I'm so sure." Thomas makes his way to Matthew's bedroom and shuts the door leaving Matthew to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Thomas looks around the apartment and realizes he should be more grateful that Matthew has offered him a place to stay.

"What's wrong?" Thomas notices Matthew staring at him.

"Nothing." Thomas sits on the couch next to Matthew.

"Do you like pancakes?" Matthew gets up from the couch and makes his way over to the kitchen.

"I'm not very fond of them." Matthew looks a bit surprised. "It's alright I'm not that hungry anyways." the second he says that his stomach growls.

"Your stomach says otherwise." Thomas rolls his eyes.

"Do you have cereal?" Matthew signals for Thomas to come to the kitchen.

"Usually I don't let others have my last bit of Captain Crunch but I'll make an exception just this once." Thomas starts laughing.

"How kind of you." Matthew hands him the box and Thomas slowly pours the cereal into the bowl.

As Thomas sits at the stool Matthew sits across from him and Thomas notices Matthew staring at him again. "Is everything alright Matthew?"

"Yes, sorry if it seemed I was making you uncomfortable I was just thinking back to when you helped me with Tom." Matthew says.

"What about Tom?" Thomas starts swirling his spoon around the bowl.

"It's not necessary about Tom but about what you called yourself." Thomas stops swirling the spoon and the room remains in silence.

"I'm sorry if I have led you on but I'm not attracted to you. I was just trying to help you out because you seemed so sad." Matthew seems hurt but tries to act like what Thomas said didn't affect him.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't clear with my thoughts, I meant to say that I was confused by why you addressed yourself as Steven." There's silence once again in the room and Thomas feels stupid for thinking Matthew wanted to be his boyfriend.

"So this has nothing to do with being boyfriends?" Matthew shakes his head.

"We barely know each other." Thomas walks to Matthew's bedroom and returns with a picture. "Is this Steven?" Thomas nods his head.

"Steven was my cousin." Matthew notices the emphasis on the word was.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Thomas grabs Matthew's hand.

"It's alright because he may not be here to everyone else but to me he's in here." Thomas guides his and Matthew's hand to his heart.

"But why call yourself Steven?" Matthew lets go of Thomas's hand.

"I call myself Steven because I wish I was him. I'm not pleased of who I've become." Matthew can't believe the words coming out of Thomas's mouth. "He was the kindest and most humble person I've ever met. He didn't deserve to die." Matthew doesn't know what to say. "This is the reason I decided to help you with your novel, I want to make a difference in the world." "I want people to understand that we didn't choose who we want to be, who we are attracted to. We were made this way and we are proud of who we are."

"How did he die?" Matthew has some ideas but wants to be proven wrong.

"Some imbecile beat him to death because he was gay." Thomas looks down and realizes the cereal is soggy but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. "The worst part is the fucker walked away scot-free." "Thanks to him we couldn't even bury Steven properly." Thomas starts crying and Matthew tries to comfort him. "I'm sorry if I ruined your morning." Thomas says between sobs.

"I don't mind." Matthew whispers though Thomas doesn't seem to hear as he is clinging on to Matthew's shirt. Matthew lets Thomas cling to him until Thomas is able to get himself together.

"Your shirt's wet." Matthew wants to kiss the frown off Thomas's face but he knows he shouldn't take advantage of Thomas when he's like this.

"Why don't you go back to bed you must of worn yourself out." Matthew leads Thomas to his bed.

Thomas lays on the bed and as Matthew's about to leave he reaches out for his hand. "Stay." Matthew moves to the other side of the bed and as he lays down Thomas grabs his hand again and pulls him closer. Matthew wraps his other hand around Thomas and Thomas lets him. "Thank you." Thomas says before closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him. Matthew lets the steady heart beat of Thomas lull him to sleep and they sleep through the afternoon.


	3. Chapter 3

February 18, 2011

"Who's this?" Thomas looks over to the young lady sitting on the couch.

"Mary. I'm sorry I didn't mention it yesterday but she's going to be staying with us for a few days." Matthew says from the couch.

"That's fine. I'll be right back." Thomas slowly inches away toward Matthew's room embarrassed that he was only in his boxers.

"That must be Thomas I presume." Mary says as she takes a sip of her tea.

"Yes, though he's usually not that shy." Matthew stares at the bed room door.

"Don't worry I usually scare all the men away." Matthew and Mary start laughing. Thomas comes out from the bedroom fully dressed and makes his way to the kitchen and avoids making eye contact with both of them.

"Well I'm off." Matthew grabs his coat and makes his way toward the door. "I'm sure you'll keep each other company."

"I'll try my best Matthew but I'm not sure he will." Mary says. Matthew gives her a reassuring look before leaving the apartment.

"Are you going to introduce yourself or shall I?" Mary glares at Thomas who's sitting in the kitchen. Thomas doesn't even budge from his spot and Mary gets up and makes her way over to Thomas. Mary takes a sip of her tea very slowly and Thomas finally gives in.

"Well I'm Thomas if that's what you're wondering." Thomas says.

"I know who you are I was just teasing." Mary continues to stare at Thomas and Thomas suddenly becomes very uncomfortable. He keeps shifting in his seat and looking anywhere but at Mary.

"Are you sure you're Thomas though because when Matthew talks of you it's usually him complaining about how much you annoy him. You don't seem annoying to me but like a man scared of his own shadow." Mary says.

"He talks about me?" Thomas finally stops shifting around in his seat knowing that Matthew may be gone for some time and that it's best if he made another friend.

"There's never a conversation where you're not mentioned. He likes you and I think you like him too." Mary replies.

"You don't know that." Thomas crosses his arms over his chest.

"I guess you're right but what's not to like." Mary gets up from her seat and stands in front of Thomas. "Let's take a walk." Thomas gets up from his seat and hooks his arm around Mary's arm and they make their way outside.

"I do like him, it's just that I'm not used to the whole dating thing." Mary is about to say something but Thomas continues before she's able to speak her mind. "And I know Matthew's the kind who's the relationship type."

"First of all I'm not surprised you're not the kind who's into relationships but I know Matthew long enough to say he's not looking to get settled." Thomas gives Mary a weird look but she just shrugs her shoulders."Stop assuming things and get to know him more." Mary says and she makes her way back into the apartment. Thomas whips out a cigarette and makes his way to what once was a garden. He leans against the back of the apartment and just stares at the smoke.

"Mary's been treating you badly I presume." Matthew says.

"What makes you say that?" Thomas continues to just stare into space.

"You usually don't smoke unless you're stressed and I know Mary can be rude at times." Thomas laughs a bit.

"When do you usually start using the garden?" Matthew looks over at the ground covered in snow.

Mary must of said something Matthew thinks to himself. "Since when have you ever wanted to know about the garden?"

"How long were you with Tom?" Matthew kicks the snow around him.

"Why are you so interested with my life all the sudden, what's changed?" Thomas crushes the cigarette with his foot.

"I've been a fool Matthew. Even when you told me you weren't interested in a relationship with me I still believed you wanted something from me." Thomas walks closer to Matthew. "What do you want from me Matthew?" Matthew raises his eyebrows.

"I just was making friendly conversation when we first met but the way you spoke inspired me. I knew I couldn't let you go, I needed that inspiration to stay with me." Matthew admits.

"So you're just using me?" Thomas says angrily.

"Well aren't you using me?" Matthew barks back.

"Excuse me!" Thomas wants to hurt Matthew but knows that won't do him any good.

"The only reason you're helping me is for you to make a statement about society, how bad we are but you're just as bad as anyone else. You're selling your body to the devil with what you're doing while most of us have a successful career you have nothing." Matthew hears the harsh words coming out of his mouth but he doesn't care anymore.

"Do you want me to leave?" Thomas asks.

"No, but if you continue with what you're doing you might as well leave without saying goodbye." Matthew is on edge but decides to forget that they had this conversation.

"Thank you, though I'm not sure I'm doing myself any good living with someone who finds me disgusting." Thomas looks over at Matthew who's making his way into the apartment.

"I don't find you disgusting I'm very fond of you. I'm just letting you know that Mary is not the only one not very fond of housing prostitutes." Matthew slams the door behind him leaving Thomas alone. Thomas realizes he can barely feel his hands but that doesn't seem to bother him as much as what Matthew said to him. It doesn't make any sense Mary said that Matthew likes him but Matthew just treated him like some vermin Thomas thinks to himself. Thomas walks inside to see Matthew and Mary chatting away on the couch.

"So are you going to Tom's wedding?" Thomas makes his way to Matthew's bedroom and slams the door. Mary jumps a bit by the sudden noise but Matthew doesn't even flinch. "What's wrong with him?" Mary looks to Matthew but he shifts his eyes over to the ground.

Matthew ignores Mary's question about Thomas's behavior. "I'm not sure yet. He actually invited me to his house tomorrow while his fiancé is at their bachelor party."

"That's a little strange though Tom was a very strange person." Mary decides to keep quiet about Thomas.

"Do you think I should go?" Matthew asks.

"Why not maybe he needs some advice and what better advice than from a writer." Mary replies.


	4. Chapter 4

February 19, 2011

"Matthew it's so great to see you." Tom looks around for Thomas. "Where's the boyfriend?"

"I assumed you wanted some privacy in our discussion." though Matthew doesn't want to even be reminded of Thomas.

"Of course. Come sit down." Matthew seems reluctant at first but finally takes a seat. "I'm glad you came." Tom takes Matthew's hands in his but Matthew pulls away.

"Why am I here exactly?" Matthew says aloud.

"I'm still in love with you Matthew and I need your advice on what to do next." Tom moves closer to Matthew.

"You're the one who broke up with me and now you want to get back together the day before your wedding!" Matthew yells.

"I know it seems very childish but I've been blind all this time, it's you I want not him." Matthew just stares at him in shock.

"I don't know what to say." Matthew is too lost in his thoughts to even realize how close Tom is to him.

"Don't say anything." Tom leans in and kisses Matthew and Matthew lets him. Tom moves one of his hands down and squeezes Matthew's cock through his pants earning a moan from Matthew.

"I need you Tom. I need to forget about Thomas." Matthew says between kisses. Tom just smirks and leads Matthew to the bedroom.

At Matthew's apartment

"Where's Matthew?" Thomas looks around the apartment.

"Finally you're awake I thought I was going to die of boredom." Thomas stands there puzzled. "Matthew is at Tom's house."

"Alone?" Mary nods her head. "I should've known."

"What on earth are you going on about Thomas?" Mary pats the couch and Thomas goes to sit beside her.

"Tom still likes Matthew." Mary laughs and Thomas glares at her. "What's so funny?"

"I thought you didn't want to be in a serious relationship with Matthew?" Mary lays her head on Thomas's shoulder.

"I don't and I didn't even have the chance to tell him that I wanted some kind of relationship. He just was yelling at me and I…I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid." Thomas sighs.

"If he wants to sleep with Tom who are we to say that he can't." Mary closes her eyes and tries to relax.

"You're crazy!" Thomas gets up from the couch and Mary lets herself lay on the couch.

"Am I, if the two of you are not interested in a serious relationship what's wrong about having a little fun?" Mary looks up at Thomas and Thomas turns his back to her.

Matthew enters the apartment. "Bad timing I presume."

"Oh no we were just talking about you, weren't we Thomas." Mary sits up on the couch and straightens out her hair.

"What were you guys saying about me?" Matthew seems intrigued.

"Can I talk to you alone?" Thomas interjects.

"You want me to leave?" Thomas gives Mary a look. "Alright I'll go." Mary grabs her coat and makes her way out the door. "I'll be back." she says.

"Did I do something wrong?" Matthew hangs his coat.

"No I just wanted to talk to you." Matthew signals for them to go to the kitchen.

"Well let's talk." Matthew takes a seat at the stool.

"I want to be in a relationship with you." Thomas admits.

"Really because I thought you were just being friendly and only wanted to help me because I seemed so sad." Matthew says.

"I know I was being harsh on you by saying that but I was scared." Thomas says.

"Scared of what?" Matthew asks.

"I'm scared of entering something that I've never actually experienced." Thomas looks at the ground. "I don't want to fall in love but I think I already have. I've been denying that I want something serious but I do. And I admit that I was jealous of Tom because he had the guts to tell you how beautiful you are and he was able to feel you and kiss you and I didn't have the guts to say that I want to be with you." Thomas seems ashamed of himself.

"Oh Thomas I do love you so much." Matthew grabs Thomas's hand. "Can I kiss you?" Matthew looks at Thomas. Thomas nods his head and Matthew smashes his lips against Thomas's lips and kisses him slowly.


	5. Chapter 5

February 29, 2011

"Thomas can I steal your boyfriend for a bit?" Matthew and Thomas are at the kitchen table eating breakfast as Mary approaches them.

"As long as you don't keep him for too long." Thomas looks to Mary who avoids making eye contact with him.

"Of course." Mary lends Matthew her hand. "Shall we" Matthew reaches for her hand and they exit the apartment.

"What have I done now Mary?" Matthew sighs.

"Don't worry Matthew it's not as bad as it seems." Mary sits at one of the swings in the park nearby.

"What are you talking about?" Matthew takes a seat at the swing beside her.

"You're slumming." Mary lets her head fall back as she swings in the air.

"Excuse me." Matthew grabs a hold of one of the chains attached to the swing Mary is on.

"It's obvious that you are using Thomas for your own means and I understand completely but you need to stop before he becomes too attached."

"I love him Mary." Mary uses her feet to stop herself from swinging and looks at Matthew.

"Please Matthew when's the last time you said that to him with actual meaning." Mary jumps off the swing.

"I don't know what has gotten into you Mary but I prefer if we continue this conversation some where more private." Matthew gets off the swing as well and looks at the kids and their parents strolling around the park.

"No, I want the whole world to see how much of a fool my best friend has become." Mary shouts.

Matthew pulls her back with force and tightens his grip on her arm. "What's changed? Thomas told me I owe my thanks to you for bringing us together."

"I was just helping you get over Tom but now that you two are back together I feel you should let Thomas go." Mary and Matthew continue to stare at each other and Matthew lets go of her arm.

"I'm going back to the apartment you coming." Matthew says.

"No I'm going to stay here for a bit longer." Matthew heads back towards the apartment. "And Matthew I'm only trying to stop you from hurting yourself I don't care about the others." Matthew doesn't turn around he just keeps walking.

At Matthew's apartment.

"What did Mary have to say?" Thomas is sprawled out on the couch with a newspaper in his hand.

"I rather not talk about it." Matthew nudges Thomas to move over and lays his head on Thomas's chest.

"Was it that bad?" Thomas sets the newspaper down and runs his hand through Matthew's hair.

"Yes." Matthew reaches for Thomas's hand and Thomas gives his hand a squeeze.

"Who cares what she has to say anyways." Thomas says.

"I do she's my best friend." Matthew admits.

"Yes but I'm your boyfriend." Thomas stops petting Matthew's hair.

"Thomas don't make me choose between the two of you and I thought you were very fond of her opinions." Matthew uses his free hand to run his hand over his face.

"Yes when she's not upsetting you I take her advice." Thomas closes his eyes.

"Let's talk about something else." Matthew looks at Lucky who has been quiet since he arrived. "How's Lucky been?"

"I think we might have to take him to the hospital." Thomas opens his eyes and looks at Lucky as well who he realized has not moved from that spot ever since he awoke.

"Why's that?" Matthew tries to get out of Thomas's grasp but Thomas doesn't let him go.

"He hasn't been himself these past few days and has barely touched his food." Thomas feels Matthew stiffen a bit.

"Maybe he's just not hungry." Matthew says.

"Matthew if you continue to ignore the signs he's just going to get worse." Thomas says.

"This isn't my day." Matthew starts to cry.

"Don't cry Matthew, we'll make an appointment for him tomorrow." Matthew continues to cry. "Everything will be alright just trust me."

Matthew escapes from Thomas's grasp and reaches for his coat.

"Where you going?" Thomas looks over at Matthew.

"Out." Matthew slams the door leaving Thomas to himself. Matthew reaches for his phone and calls Tom.

"Matthew?" Tom's voice seems hoarse on the other line.

"Can I come over?" Matthew says hopefully.

"Of course babe." Tom seems worried by the strain in Matthew's voice.

"Thank you Tom I'll be there in a few." Matthew is about to hang up but Tom interrupts.

"I love you Matthew." Tom says.

"I love you too." Matthew ends the call.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm back." Mary enters the apartment and walks into the kitchen. "Where's Matthew?"

"I'm sorry if this sounds a bit rude but when are you leaving?" Thomas is sitting at the stool in the kitchen.

"In about a week or so, why?" Mary remains standing.

"If I offer you some money to take the earliest flight by tomorrow morning will you take it?" Mary's smile disappears and she finally sits down.

"I'm guessing Matthew told you what I said." Mary sighs.

"He didn't have to. Now will you just take the money." Thomas slams his hands on the table.

"I suppose so but I must say that getting rid of me won't solve any of your problems." Mary says.

"I don't care I just don't want you here anymore." Thomas says.

"Alright I'll be gone by tomorrow morning." Mary makes her way to the couch and Thomas goes to Matthew's room.

At Tom's house

"I can't believe this." Matthew lets go of Tom's hand.

"I know this must be hard for you but I want us to be honest with each other." Matthew gets up from the bed and starts putting his clothes back on.

"I don't even know if I can trust you anymore." Matthew heads out of the room and Tom follows.

"At least I admitted to sleeping with Thomas he probably was never going to mention it." Matthew stops walking and turns around to face Tom.

"But how do I know you won't get the urge to call him again?" Tom looks away from Matthew and Matthew shakes his head.

"Matthew you have to understand that we were falling apart and I thought things were never going to get better." Tom admits.

"So whenever we have a fight or feel like we're drifting apart you're going to have sex with some random guy to forget it all." Matthew yells.

"I was immature then, I've changed." Matthew continues to make his way to the door.

"I'm sorry but I think we need a break." Matthew reaches for the handle but Tom grabs Matthew's arm. "Let go of me."

"I can't let you leave like this." Tom says.

"Like what?" Matthew glares at Tom.

"You're angry and upset and I get that but that's not a state for you to be in if you're driving." Matthew moves away from the door.

"Keeping me here is not going to solve anything either." Matthew says.

At Matthew's apartment

"You never told me where Matthew had run off to." Mary enters Matthew's room and lays down next to Thomas.

"I don't know where he is." Thomas doesn't turn to face her but Mary continues to stare at his back.

"But you're his boyfriend shouldn't he have told you." Mary hears Thomas sigh.

"You're enjoying this aren't you." Mary laughs.

"A little bit." Thomas rolls his eyes.

"Matthew needed some space that's all." Thomas says.

"What's wrong with him?" Mary stares at Lucky who is on the bed too.

"He's sick. I was supposed to make an appointment for him but the pet store is probably closed by now." Thomas stares at the ceiling.

"Don't worry I'm sure the dog will last another day without having gone to the vet." Mary looks up at the ceiling as well. "Our main priority is Matthew."

March 1, 2011

"Should we call the police?" Thomas has a cigarette between his fingers.

"I'm sure Matthew's alright he probably just spent the night somewhere." Mary takes the cigarette from him and takes a puff.

"Without calling or texting us that seems a bit strange don't you think." Thomas stares at the smoke.

"I'm just trying to think positive Thomas." There's a sound of keys jingling and Mary drops the cigarette and she and Thomas run to the door before Matthew is able to enter. Once he enters Thomas pulls him in for a hug. Matthew pulls away and runs to his bedroom and locks the door.

"Matthew what's wrong?" Thomas is banging on the door but Matthew does not open it. Thomas finally gives up and slides down the door putting his head in his hands. Mary goes to sit beside him and puts her hand on his shoulder but he doesn't budge. "I'm sure he'll come round just be patient." Mary whispers. They remain like that for some time until Mary finally gets off the floor. "Well I must be going unless I want to miss my flight." Mary brushes the dirt off her dress. Thomas looks up at her. "Thomas I know we had a falling out yesterday but don't you think I should stay."

"I appreciate your help Mary but I can handle him by myself." Thomas says.

"I do hope you're right." Mary grabs her suitcase and exits the apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

It took three days for Matthew to let Thomas drag him out of the room without him screaming and kicking about. Though Thomas managed to get him to eat something he wouldn't talk. Thomas would talk to him but whenever he would look at Matthew he realized Matthew wasn't even listening. He thought about calling Mary but he didn't want to hear her say I told you so. Thomas was supposed to take Lucky for his appointment today but he didn't think he should leave Matthew on his own. Matthew and him had been in a relationship for some time but Thomas knew that he didn't know everything about Matthew and he didn't want to risk Matthew's life for his dog. While Thomas is lost in his thoughts there's a sound of a huge crash and Thomas runs over to the bathroom.

"Matthew?" Thomas tries opening the bathroom door but it's locked.

"I'm alright." Matthew calls from the other side but he is struggling to get up from the floor.

"Can you open the door?" Thomas does not believe Matthew. Matthew reaches for the handle but there's a sudden sharp pain in his back and he tries to lay back down letting out a yelp.

"Matthew I can't help you unless you open the door." Lucky is sniffing the door and Thomas feels more scared than before.

"I'm trying." Matthew whispers. He tries to open the door again and is able to do it without any more pain. Thomas runs to him and tries to help him off the floor but Matthew pushes him away.

"Don't touch me!" Matthew yells and Thomas is taken back. "I'm so sorry Thomas." Matthew is shaking and Thomas tries to touch him again and Matthew lets him. Thomas realizes it's the first time that he said his name since that day. Thomas tries to hold the tears in but a tear is able to escape. Matthew reaches for Thomas's face and wipes the tear away with his thumb.

"Let's get you to bed." Thomas remembers when Matthew had said the same thing when Thomas told him about Steven. As Thomas puts Matthew to bed he sees bruises along Matthew's torso but doesn't question Matthew about it. Matthew's asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and Thomas goes to the couch. Before he reaches the couch he lefts himself fall to the floor and curls into a ball letting the tears fall. Lucky comes and lays beside him. Thomas remains like that throughout the night.


	8. Chapter 8

March 23, 2011

"I'm glad you came to your senses." Mary walks around the apartment.

"I can't do this alone Mary I realize that now." Thomas drags Mary's suitcase to the couch.

"Well I'm here so what can I do?" Mary takes a seat on the couch.

"I'm not sure." Thomas plops down next to her.

"I thought you always had a plan." Mary twirls her hair around her finger.

"Not this time I'm afrird." Thomas sighs.

"At least you have me. You know what they say two heads are better than one." Mary says.

"I think we'll need more than that to help Matthew." Thomas looks at the bedroom door.

"It's that bad." Mary looks as well.

"I don't understand we were so good together and now he doesn't want me near him." Thomas keeps his eyes on the door hoping Matthew would come out.

"Just give him some more time." Mary shifts her gaze to Thomas.

"I can't wait forever I have a life to live." Thomas gets up from the couch and paces around the couch.

"You're giving up on him is that why you brought me here so that you could escape?" Mary throws a pillow at Thomas and he stops pacing.

"He doesn't love me anymore why waste my time with someone who doesn't want me." Thomas yells.

"If you love him you would be trying your hardest to help him." Mary is mere inches away from Thomas with her fists clenched.

"I thought you would understand." Mary shakes her head.

"Well I don't and I'd hate to tell Matthew that I was right." Mary scoffs.

"Right about what?" though Thomas has a pretty good idea of what she is going to say.

"You're weren't good enough for him." Thomas makes his way to the door. "Where you going?"

"I don't know and don't care." Thomas slams the door on the way out.

"What's going on?" Matthew yawns.

"Thomas is just being stubborn." Mary sees that Matthew's eyes are bloodshot. "How are you?"

"Ok I guess." Matthew scratches the back of his head.

"You guess?" Matthew just shrugs his shoulders.

"I'm going back to bed." Matthew slowly walks back to his room and Mary notices he walks with a limp.

"Did Thomas do something?" Matthew stops in his tracks and looks at Mary.

"No, I actually owe my life to him with everything he's been doing." Matthew says. Mary gives him a small smile.

"Was it Tom?" Matthew cringes at the name.

"I'm going back to bed." Matthew keeps walking to his bedroom and Mary just watches him.


	9. Chapter 9

"How do you feel?" Matthew finds his nails more interesting than the conversation.

"Angry, disgusted with myself." Matthew continues to bite his nails. "Why am I here, there's nothing wrong with me."

"Of course not. What do you want to get out of this discussion?" the therapist looks at Matthew who refuses to look at him.

"To forget, to go back to who I was before the accident." Matthew gazes at the floor hoping it could take him back.

"And who was that?" Matthew looks up.

"Someone who was happy but I don't think I'll ever get that happiness back." Matthew frowns.

"I don't believe that." Matthew just shrugs his shoulders.

"My best friend Mary treats me like a broken toy and Thomas is starting to lose faith in me." Matthew says.

"Is that how you feel broken?" Matthew nods his head.

"Yes I do feel broken, very much so." Matthew says.

"Why do you think Thomas has lost faith?" therapist seems intrigued.

"I overheard Mary and Thomas talking the other day and Thomas said that he doesn't want to wait for me to get better. He doesn't think I'll ever get better." Matthew runs his hands over his face.

"Don't you think if Thomas wanted to leave you he would have done so already?" the therapist says.

"I suppose you're right but I think he's right as well." Matthew shifts his gaze over to the wall. "Why stay with someone who doesn't love you back." the therapist seems surprised by Matthew's confession.

"You don't love him?" Matthew doesn't even take time to think about his answer.

"Yes I don't think I have or will love him." the therapist seems taken back.

"Well I think that's all we have time for today." Matthew stands up and at first is hesitant to shake the therapist's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yea." Matthew makes his way over to Thomas in the waiting room.

"You ready to go." Thomas gets up from his seat.

"Yea I think so." Matthew rubs his shoulder.

"Alright let's go." Thomas goes to grab Matthew's hand but Matthew pulls away.

"I'm sorry." Matthew says.

"No it's alright." though Thomas is saddened by Matthew's behavior.

"So how was the first session?" Thomas tries to get Matthew to tell him what happened that day.

"Can we talk about something else?" Matthew seems distressed.

"Ok, what are your plans for this afternoon?" Thomas hopes Matthew's plans include him.

"Mary and I are going to the library." Matthew and Thomas arrive at Matthew's car.

"Can I come?" Thomas says hopefully.

"Mary wanted me to herself if that's alright with you." this is the second time Matthew has disappointed Thomas this morning.

"That's fine but is it really Mary who doesn't want me to come or are you using her as an excuse?" Thomas sighs.

"I just need space that's all." Matthew tries to open his side of the car but it's still locked.

"Are you sure we're ok?" Thomas leans against the car.

"I believe so. Now can you take me back home or shall I walk." Matthew says with frustration.

"Just get in the car." Thomas unlocks the car door and Matthew goes inside blasting the music.


	10. Chapter 10

April 16, 2011

"Is he ever going to get better?" Thomas sighs.

"You need to give him more time." the therapist gives Thomas a sympathetic look.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me but I don't even know how to be around him anymore. I can't touch him, he barely talks to me, and it's like we're back at square one and we're never get any further than that." Thomas yells.

"I'm sorry Thomas but Matthew hasn't been here long enough for me to say if he actually needs to be hospitalized but he is improving." Thomas calms down. "Most patients take a while to finally tell me their problems but Matthew doesn't seem to have a problem with explaining what's on his mind." the therapist explains.

"Has he told you what happened that night?" the therapist shakes his head.

"Not directly but I have enough data to guess at what happened but I can't give that info to you." Thomas nods his head.

"So I have to wait till Matthew is ready to tell me?" Thomas looks at his shoes and noticed one of them is untied and goes to tie it.

"Precisely, now I must be going." the therapist makes his way into his office.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Thomas says as he finishes tying his shoe.

"Bye." the therapist disappears into his office.

At Matthew's Apartment

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?" Thomas makes his way to Matthew's side.

"I don't know what you're talking about Thomas." Matthew sinks further into the blankets.

"Matthew we've been over this many times…the day Mary told you I was no good for you." Matthew loosens his grip on the blankets. "Do you agree with her?" Thomas pulls the blankets off of Matthew.

"Thomas you've been so nice to me but I don't think I can give you what you deserve." Matthew admits.

"I'm so stupid!" Thomas slams his hands into the bedroom wall and Matthew jumps at the sudden action. "I should've known." Thomas turns to face Matthew.

"You can't leave me Thomas you owe me that." Thomas looks at Matthew confused.

"What are you talking about?" Thomas continues to stare at Matthew.

"Tom told me you slept with him." Thomas shifts his gaze away from Matthew. "You lied to me this whole time!" Matthew yells. "You knew who Tom was the day we first met but you pretended to not know him." Matthew keeps on and Thomas doesn't stop him. "Why?" Thomas is surprised by the sudden change in Matthew. This is most he's ever said to him since that day. "Was Steven even real or was he a lie to so that I'll feel bad for you?" Thomas clenches his fists and storms over to Matthew.

"How dare you say that Steven was not real. He's real as you'll ever be." Thomas pulls Matthew from the bed. "You're just some worthless piece of shit with no potential." Thomas spats and forces Matthew to look at him. "How can you even walk around with pride for who you are?" Matthew cringes as Thomas raises his fist but Thomas doesn't hit him.

"I wish you were dead." the atmosphere becomes strained. "You can go fuck yourself if your so desperate to get in my pants." Matthew pushes Thomas away. "Loving someone means you care and respect them but it seems you have no respect for me." Matthew scoffs.

"I don't care and respect you?" Thomas is taken back. "I take you to every fucking appointment and wait for you. I even cook for you." Matthew rolls his eyes. "So don't go blaming this shit on me." Thomas shoves Matthew to the floor.

"Please leave Thomas." Matthew shrinks into a ball and starts crying.

"Just for a bit right because you'll come running back to me asking me to fuck the shit out of you realizing how stupid you're being." Thomas starts throwing things around the apartment trying to scare Matthew.

"Just leave!" Matthew grabs his head and starts rocking back and forth.

"No I'm gonna fucking stay!" Thomas makes his way over to Matthew on the floor and tries to take his clothes off.

"Don't touch me!" Matthew is shaking a lot but Thomas is too far gone to even notice.

"Why am I not good enough for you anymore." Matthew keeps trying to push Thomas off but Thomas continues to unbutton Matthew's shirt.

"Please Thomas stop." Matthew starts convulsing on the floor and Thomas becomes awakened to reality.

"Matthew!" Thomas tries to get Matthew to look at him but Matthew has no control over his body. "Stay with me Matthew." Thomas puts everything else aside for now and rings for an ambulance. "I can't lose you, not now." Thomas whispers.


	11. Chapter 11

"Is he alright?" Thomas stares at the doctor and nurses hoping they'll say yes.

"We're not quite sure what's wrong with him but he's stable for now." Thomas glares at them.

"How can you not know what's wrong with him? Thomas yells. Are you guys that stupid or what?"

"Mr. Barrow we understand you're upset but we can't tell you what's wrong with him until we have some results from the tests."

"This is all some joke right. I mean he could be dying and you all are sitting around waiting for some stupid tests." Thomas throws his hands in the air and goes to punch the wall but he holds back.

"You do realize your friend had a seizure." Thomas gives them a look and crosses his arms over his chest as he sits back down.

"Yes." Thomas says sternly.

"Do you know if he has any history of seizures?" Thomas shakes his head.

"Not that I know of." Thomas is about to say something but they continue to ask him questions.

"Were you with him when it happened?" Thomas seems to freeze remembering how cruel he was to Matthew.

"Yes." Thomas stares at the floor.

"Can you tell us what happened and maybe that can speed up our process?" Thomas doesn't look at them.

"We were arguing and he kept telling me to not touch him but I did anyways and the next thing I know he's convulsing on the floor." Thomas says with regret.

"Do you have any idea why he wouldn't want you to touch him?" Thomas shrugs his shoulders.

"None." Thomas takes a sip of his coffee not minding that it's cold. "Ever since that day he hasn't been himself."

"Thank you for your cooperation and if you don't mind we're going to ask Mr. Crawley some questions before you go see him." Thomas sets down his cup and whips out his cigarette but the doctor and nurses shake their heads.

"I don't mind." Thomas stares at Matthew from the doorway and decides to go outside to take a puff.

" I'd like to ask you some questions Mr. Crawley if that's all right with you." Matthew is looking at the glass behind the doctor.

"Of course and it's Matthew." Matthew continues to stare at the glass as the doctor approaches him.

"Why won't you let Thomas touch you?" Matthew closes his eyes thinking back to that day.

"It brings back memories of that night." Matthew takes a deep breath.

"What night?" the doctor seems intrigued.

"The night Tom Branson raped me." the doctor stares at Matthew in shock by his direct answer. "Now that I told you all you need to know can I leave."

"Thomas doesn't know?" Matthew tightens his grip on the sheets.

"Yes and I want it to stay that way." Matthew shifts his gaze at the doctor.

"I know I'm not supposed to interfere with a patient's personal life but the worst thing to do is push people away and Thomas is the last person you want to lose." Matthew laughs. "We need to keep you here tonight for observation but you can leave tomorrow."

"Thank you now can you please tell Thomas to leave." Matthew motions to where Thomas is waiting outside the door.

"Of course if that's what you want." Matthew nods his head and the doctor opens to door while Thomas doesn't look too happy.

"He doesn't want to see me is that what you're going to tell me." Thomas is getting ready to leave and the doctor gives Thomas a sympathetic look.

"I best be going then." Thomas makes his way out the hospital.

At Matthew's Apartment

"How is he?" Mary walks over to Thomas.

"He doesn't want to see me." Thomas throws his things on the floor and Mary takes a few steps back.

"Are you sure?" Thomas glares at her.

"Yes the doctor told me himself." Mary nods her head.

"What are you doing?" Mary looks at Thomas who is putting his things in his backpack.

"Packing." Mary rolls her eyes.

"Had enough huh?" Mary takes his things out of his backpack and Thomas pushes her away.

"Yes and nothing's going to change my mind." Thomas says.

"Not even me?" Thomas laughs but Mary is serious.

"Not even you Mary." Thomas continues to pack.

"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you were straight?" Thomas stops packing.

"Yes plenty of times but I would never change a thing." Mary sees the pain in Thomas's eyes.

"What if I could give you a better life?" Mary says.

"I like the life I have now." Mary rolls her eyes.

"Really because it looks to me as if you were about to leave it." Thomas glares at her.

"How could you give me a better life?" Mary puts her hand on his shoulder.

"Come back with me to California there's plenty of hot men out there." Thomas laughs.

"Where would I stay?" Thomas asks.

"With me silly." Mary turns Thomas's face toward her.

"You want us to abandon Matthew?" Mary shrugs her shoulders.

"If we stay with him our lives are going to get worse but if we leave it gives us the opportunity to live a different life, forget him Thomas he's useless." Thomas is taken back by Mary's words but thinks about her offer.

"Why were you asking me if I wish I was straight?" Thomas seems intrigued.

"I wanted you to do a favor for me in return." Mary moves in as close as she can to Thomas.

"And what's that?" Mary is mere inches from his face.

"Kiss me." Mary says.

"What?" Thomas takes a step back but Mary keeps moving closer.

"This is your chance to see what it would be like and for me to finally get over my little crush." Thomas blushes.

"You have a crush on me." Thomas says aloud.

"Yes now just kiss me." Thomas stares at Mary and just stands there for a bit.

Thomas moves in closer to Mary not sure if he should even be doing this but she's offering him a better life so why not take it. Mary initiates the kiss and at first it feels weird to be kissing a girl but he pretends it's Matthew kissing him and puts all he's got into the kiss. Thomas is the first to pull away and wipes his sleeve over his lips trying to get rid of her lipstick.

"Wow... you're a great kisser." Mary pats Thomas's cheek and Thomas wishes he could go back and prevent the kiss from happening but it's too late.


End file.
